The Hosthopper Elaine!
by Majo Dia
Summary: Short unrelated stories involving a blunt girl named Elaine, and the members of the host club!  Okay, so, I stink at this. Anyway, this won't be OCx anybody!
1. Nothing in Excess!

_**I don't own OHSHC, all I own is Elaine! well, and, this cute little baby fic.**_

_**In any case, I have planned for at least three other stories involving my little Elaine, and, of course, the host club!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

It's just a regular day at the Host club, and, like on all regular days, everyone is enjoying themselves.

As usual, the sounds of flustered girls squealing filled the room.

Kyoya sat at the back of the room, writing on his mysterious clipboard, and watching the other hosts entertain.

He payed particular attention to Tamaki, who was entertaining a very recent customer who had spent only a week at the school, and had chosen a different host each day.

She had an absolutley crushing, and blunt personality, and Tamaki was, so far, entertaining her better than the other hosts had.

Of course, by the time she had gotten to Tamaki, going through almost every host before requesting him, she was much more open than when she first came to the school. Nonetheless, he was doing well.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up, as if they were previously sliding down his nose, and smiled in the direction of Tamaki and the girl called Elaine, listening in on their conversation.

"Ah, my lovely Elaine. I know we've only just met a few days ago, but, my life has changed since seeing you!" Tamaki stated in an overly sweet and dramatic voice, as is very common for him to do.

Elaine placed her cup on the table in front of them, and scoffed in response to Tamaki's statement. In a very similar voice to the one Tamaki had used mere seconds ago, Elaine said "Such delicate, smooth, and empty words. I'm not in the least convinced. You're a bad actor Tamaki-san."

Tamaki and the other hosts knew, after the first time they saw her, that Elaine was hardly aware of her own behavior.

She was horribly oblivious. Still, her behavior never ceased to injur someone's ego and, or, feelings. Especially Tamaki's.

He struggled to keep from crying and calling for 'mommy', instead, composing himself entirely, and saying "I'll say what you want me to say, my princess!" Tamaki jumped up, striking a pose of plastic drama and hollow, but, somehow, convincing affection.

He danced around until he was behind Elaine, spouting extremely flattering, but, pointlessly redundant words in an effort to describe how he was willing to do anything for a woman so beautiful as Elaine.

After the long and well-acted rant, Tamaki sat back down, across from Elaine, and took her hands in his, simply smiling, and, panting after his extensive speech.

The group of girls that Tamaki was to be entertaining next squeaked with jealousy and anticipation. They wanted to see what would happen next, but, they each wanted to be the one it happened to.

Elaine freed one of her hands, and picked up her cup of tea. "You're awfully confident you can charm me." She said, sipping her tea, and smiling brightly.

Tamaki was sure that he had become the victor, and that Elaine would come to the Host club every day and request him. That is, until she said "Confidence is a good thing, but, nothing in excess Tamaki-san!" Elaine smiled once again, likely unaware of how much she would crush Tamaki today. "On Monday the cycle begins again!" She raised her arm above her, pointing at nothing in particular.

Suddenly, Elaine rose from her seat, and before anyone could get a word in, she exited the host club with a cheery "Good day to you all!" Leaving Tamaki frozen, looking like a devastated statue chanting something about rejection because of his beauty, and saying 'that girl is mean to me, mommy!'

Kyoya just sighed, pushing up his idle glasses once more. "Brace yourself, Haruhi, for it seems you're next." He said, too quiet for the female host to hear from across the room.

End of Chapter 1!

_**I know that was a really odd one, but, I think it'll get pretty good as it progresses.**_

_**Well, please leave a review! I'd love to hear what you think!**_


	2. A commoner's crush

_**I don't own OHSHC! I do, however, own Elaine, and this story!**_

_**Please tolerate my brief history creation for Elaine, and Enjoy!**_

-_Friday grabs Thursday by the wrist and drags it right into the weekend! Hense, it's Saturday.-_

Elaine quietly closed the french doors that lead onto the balcony outside her bedroom. The maids had previously told her to leave this way if she got tired of living like she was.

Thus, at this very moment, she is leaving her parents mansion, sneaking almost, to a place that no self-respecting child of a high and mighty C.E.O. should ever be seen: The commoners market.

She had been a long-time customer of this market, as well as her mother, before she learned that her step-father was the head of a big company. After that, she didn't want to do anything that might earn the unapproval of her step-father, including going to a commoner's school.

Elaine doesn't mind her step-father, but, she could never become like him, and fall perfectly into the rich person lifestyle. So, every chance she gets, Elaine lives like a commoner.

It doesn't take her long to walk to the bus stop, and even less time for the bus to arrive before her and the two other people at that particular stop. Elaine takes a spot, standing, near the front of the bus, and smiles at the thought of 'her day off'. It took a blonde wig, green contacts, and a bunch of cheap jewelry to get her there, but, she was happy with the way things were going.

She smiles brighter when the bus-driver asks her where she's going. Elaine loves the way 'commoners' address her. Without a 'miss' or a 'ma'am'. They can't call her Elaine, though.

Because, in spite of her disguise, someone was bound to recognize her, if they knew her name was Elaine. Therefore, she calls herself Naomi.

Before she knew it, the bus had reached the stop nearest the commoners market. Elaine allowed an elderly couple to exit the bus, before stepping out herself.

She dawdles for a moment, just outside the bus, and takes a deep breath, soaking in every bit of the shopping area before entering her favorite grocery store.

Once inside, Elaine makes a B-line for the aisle with crackers and cookies. _Normal people have such lovely cheap cookies!_ She thinks to herself. Upon skipping happily into the aisle, Elaine spots a girl who looks alarmingly like Haruhi.

Unsure of how to react to the female Haruhi, Elaine slowly makes her way over to stand beside her, while pretending to look at boxes of saltines.

The supposed 'Haruhi look-a-like' glanced at Elaine and smiled. Elaine returned her smile, and, told herself this _had_ to be Haruhi, so, as a test, she says "Haruhi!"

Haruhi answers with an "Eh?" and asks how she knows her name.

Elaine looks around to see if anyone else is in earshot, then quietly tells Haruhi "It's me, _Elaine._"

"Oh. What's with the disguise?" Haruhi asks, then Elaine says to call her Naomi while she's in this disguise, and explains about not wanting to cross her step-father, while they shop.

Haruhi listens intently to what 'Naomi' has to say, and, as they leave the store, Haruhi asks why Naomi came to the commoners market in the first place, if she could ruin her step-father's name by doing so. Elaine ponders this question shortly, then says "I guess... I've always loved the way commoners do things. _Because _they _do _things, You know? kind of like... a crush, I think. I love doing things for myself, and dressing the way I want. You must have so much fun Haruhi-_chan_."

That causes Haruhi to laugh. "Not really." She says.

Elaine looks at her watch, and says she has to go. "I'll you on Tuesday!"

"Won't you see me on every school day, er, Naomi?" Haruhi asks.

"Well, I've got a busy week of Host-hopping ahead of me, and I've already planned to see Honey-sempai on Monday!" Elaine says, smiling brightly.

She runs over to the bus stop, when she sees the bus is coming, and waves to Haruhi as she walks off in the opposite direction.

End of chapter 2!

_**Okay, that wasn't exactly how I wanted that to turn out, but, I love writing these little things! I hope you enjoyed it, and caught the hint!**_

_**Please review!**_


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